Day 4

I noticed a few fellow NaBloMoPo-ers on twitter last night feeling a bit overwhelmed by the challenge – I think that’s totally natural and I just want to reassure you all that we’ll ALL feel like that at some point through the month. Take a deep breath and remember this is supposed to be fun!

Today’s prompt is:
November 4, 2013
Are you easily tricked? Do you fall for things?

This is a bit of a depressing one for me, actually. I’m generally quite a positive, upbeat person (I think?) but trust is a huge issue for me. It takes me a long time to trust someone implicitly and once I do, that person is then stuck with me forevermore. Perhaps as a consequence of those trust issues, it takes me a while to believe in things.

I was reflecting on my trust issues to see if I could pinpoint where it came from. I half thought about blogging it but it feels a little too personal for public consumption – which is not to say that I wouldn’t appreciate input from my loyal readers. Essentially, these trust issues were the root cause of the mental breakdown I suffered after having G. That breakdown led to counselling where I poured my heart out to my counsellor and she agreed wholeheartedly that I had been treated fairly poorly. That was good I suppose, to have that validation that I wasn’t a bad person and that my experiences had been appalling – but it didn’t help me move past it, and it didn’t resolve the way I’d been feeling which had then caused the breakdown. Does that make sense?

So essentially I think the answer to this is yes I am easily tricked and I do fall for things, but in my past some of those things have been so damaging and hurtful to me that I’m very wary and tend to the sceptical. With that in mind though, it is something I’m working very hard to change – that assumption that everyone is in my life to hurt me. It’s not easy though.

Hope that’s not been horribly depressing for you all reading!

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4 thoughts on “Day 4

  1. :( I’m so sorry to hear about the thing that happened Vonnie. And, I hope you can move on from it because being able to trust and “fall for things” just makes life so much less stressful.

    They say you are either like a cat – untrusting and if you get kicked you don’t come back – or a dog…I am like a Labrador and trust whole heartedly. I can even be let down a few times and still come back for more. It is incredibly annoying. Thankfully nothing too bad has happened yet, touch wood, but I don’t really know how else to be! xx

    I’m not sure I’ve enough to say on the matter for a whole post, I seem to have said it all here! So I’ll do to a review of our holiday (that should have been in Tenerife) today, if that’s OK?!

  2. That’s a very brave post. Maybe writing about the thing – though not for public consumption – would help. You never know. Betrayal is awful and I’m not sure you ever get over it, just grow a thicker skin.

  3. Honey, none of us get out of life undamaged. It’s one of those rules, I think. Everyones’ damage is unique to themselves but we are all walking wounded. If you can deal with that with dignity and understand yourself then you are one up on a lot of people.

Please do leave a comment, they make me cheerful :)

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